My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
