I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize