Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize