This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
