I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
