That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
