I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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