You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
