I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
