What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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