My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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