Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
