I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
