There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
