She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
