i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
