stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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