Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
