I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
