i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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