she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
