Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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