Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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