Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
