Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
