I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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