you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
