I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Randomize
