I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
