I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
