i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
