ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
