all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
