You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
