I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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