If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize