im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
