Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
