areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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