We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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