So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
