..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
