dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm always down for nudity.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize