After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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