How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
