I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
