I feel like I'm in dance class right now
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
