How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
