i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
