I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
