1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
