Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
