Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
