Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
