Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
