Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
