i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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