i think my mom watched the whole time
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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