You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
