he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
