some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize