his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
