You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
