Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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