Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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