Screwed.edu
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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