Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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