Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
