This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
