New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
