Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this boner is exhausting
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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