Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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