idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I am one with the molecules
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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