He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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