So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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