Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Girls should come with a carfax report
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
