Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
